This might be the hardest mental health and me post I've written this far. A big part of my depression as a teen was linked to my body image. I've had issues with being overweight since I was 4. I'm deathly allergic to cough syrup and the steroids the doctors gave me permanently messed up my metabolism. Before that I had issues gaining weight so I was on a high protein diet when everything happened. So when my metabolism stopped working I was still trying to gain weight and gained too much. I've been fighting it ever since.
I’ve always been an introvert, a loner. I’ve always liked being alone. Doing things my way, myself. I’ve always hated being out in public. Having to talk to people. Whether it was ordering food or checking out at the store I hate interacting with strangers since I was a kid.
So I've completely dropped the ball on blogging recently. After 2017 I think I need the break. I also took the time to work on designs and art for my new Etsy store, but I'll tell you more about that in an upcoming post. I think this post is actually the perfect one to come back on. I needed a break. I wasn't having blogger burnout. I've actually had really exciting ideas floating around in my head all this time. I've just had no will to write recently. Well, no will to type. I have been writing posts in my head for weeks.
*WARNING: The following post includes a dark subject matter and includes mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts.
Today I want to start a series of posts about my mental health journey. When I was at my darkest I would have loved to read about similar experiences. It would have been nice to know that I wasn't the only one who felt such deep darkness.
I love my blog and the content I make but there are posts I want to write that I'm just not sure I can. And that is why I wish I'd kept my blog a secret from my family.
