Diary Entry 4

It's been 3 months since my last diary entry. It doesn't feel that long and at the same time it feels longer. I honestly think working in the house all day doing the same thing all the time has really taken a toll on my time awareness. 

Two months into the new year. I turned 21 last week. Which doesn't seem real. Sometimes when I'm watching TV and there are some 17-18 year olds it hits me that I'm not 18 anymore. I'm 2 years out of my teens. I really do forget sometimes.

The last few months have really changed my life. I started anti-depressants in December after spending about 2 months crying almost every day. They have been a big help. I was so tired all the time. No matter how long I slept. The last couple of months have been much better than all of my 2018. I also noticed that I'm not as quick-tempered on my new medicine. 

I also past my first year anniversary of living gluten-free in December. And my 5th month without being contaminated. 5 months without any gluten and I feel so much better than I did in 2017. I can eat without stomach pain, my body doesn't ache as much. It's been amazing living without the brain fog.

It's been hard too, having to meticulously check every label, not eating out from the worry of cross-contamination. It's been kind of nice too. I've been slowly losing weight from always cooking myself and eating fewer sweets. A lot of candy has gluten or is easily CC. 


In January I became a Wiccan. A Wiccan is a person who follows the neo-pagan, nature and witchcraft based religion of Wicca. It's all about the balance of nature and treating out Earth with respect. I've been studying it for the past month. Choosing my path and my deities and learning as much as I can about the faith. I talked about it in depth in a post earlier this week. I have been loving it! It has brought me so much joy. Wicca beliefs really aligned with what I already believed. When I started learning about it more it all just clicked.

Since finding Wicca I've started getting more into meditation. I've done it from time to time but now I find myself doing it at least once a day. I usually start my days with meditation with my amethyst crystal listing to rain and thunder in my headphones. I've also found that meditating while laying down in bed to help me sleep a lot better. 

I've also started doing Yoga more regularly now. I've always liked yoga and working out but I've always found it hard to get into a routine. Now I've started doing yoga every morning after I meditate. I overdid it a little yesterday though as my legs feel like they are encased in concrete with knives in it. I've been wattling around all day. I pushed my limit a bit since it felt a little too easy and my body is mad at me for it. 


I also started focusing more on physical art this last month. I ordered my first set of alcohol markers and started sketching and drawing every day. I really want to get started in watercolour and water markers which you can wet with a brush to get a watercolour effect. I've started watching a ton of art YouTubers and have fallen inlove with making physical pieces. I still love my digital are and my one button eraser but I'm really enjoying diving into physical art for the first time.

Other updates that aren't very fun, I found out that my ear issues haven't been in my mind and that I have had an ear infection that has been growing in strength for the last 3-4 months. The doctor gave me ear drops and I hate it so much. I've been on it for 2 days and I'm so ready for this infection to be gone! I don't remember what a normal ear feels like anymore.

Etsy has been getting worse and worse since October. They changed the search algorithm so tons of shops, including mine, have taken a dive in sales. Last week the had an "accounting error" that led to some people having huge withdrawals being taken out of their accounts and others having large amounts given to them. That's gonna have a bad effect on taxes next year. Etsy has also been shutting down shops with no explanations. The shops didn't have bad records and didn't do anything wrong. It's being a shit show over there. So if anyone knows a good competitor to Etsy let me know.


Something a lot less depressing, my sister and her family came to visit this week. We finally got to have our Christmas together. My niece was so excited for here Hatchimal and my nephew loved his vacuum car that drives on walls. It was so great to see them. But Salem didn't think so. My poor baby was pretty banged up, we assume by previous owners when we found him in July so he's scared of new people. He was 2 months old at most my poor little guy.

I'm excited to finally take the tree down. I feel like a heathen having it up this long. But the kiddos love seeing it. We have this old fashion bubble lights that are blown glass with liquid inside the bubbles when the light warms it up. My nephew loved it.

Ok, I'm going to sign off now before this post gets too word vomity. I can't believe how much of a better head space I'm in now than I was when I wrote my last diary entry. Not crying every day has definitely been the highlight my 2019 so far.

Thanks so much for reading this post! I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a like if you did, it's much appreciated!

If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to message me or leave them in the comments below. 

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Photo Credit: Photo taken by me with a Canon EOS Rebel T5 with an 18-55mm lens and edited by me in Photoshop.

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